STEFAN'S
STAG DO
PHUKET & PHI PHI • MARCH 2026
9 LADS • 2 ISLANDS • 10 DAYS OF CHAOS
Phuket base camp (13–18) → Phi Phi island takeover (18–21) → Return to civilisation (22)
Flights and accommodation already booked and paid for. This handbook covers everything else.
Thu 12 Mar
LHR 14:15 → Doha 23:55
Fri 13 Mar
Doha 02:25 → Phuket 12:44
Sun 22 Mar
Phuket 00:50 → Doha 03:50
Doha → LHR 12:10
⚠ Departs MIDNIGHT Saturday into Sunday
Three Monkeys Villas, Patong
13–18 March • Check-in 15:00 • Check-out 12:00
9 beds • Pool • Balcony
Phi Phi Cliff Beach Resort
18–21 March • Check-in 14:00 • Check-out 11:00
5 twin rooms
Andamanda — 25+ attractions, 12 extreme slides, 5 zones. Full day.
฿1,850–2,200pp
Ethical sanctuary — feeding, mud bath, pool shower, Thai buffet lunch.
฿2,900pp
2-hour ATV jungle trail + panoramic viewpoints. Hotel pickup included.
฿1,500–2,500pp
Patong Boxing Stadium — ringside seats, free pickup, free t-shirt.
฿1,620pp (WhatsApp discount)
Illuzion nightclub, Tiger Bar, Aussie Bar — brace yourselves.
Yona Beach Club (฿2,900) • Jet Ski Tour (~฿4,444pp) • Go-Karting (฿800–1,000) • Dinner in the Sky (~฿3,900pp)
Land 12:44 → Pre-booked minivan to Patong (~1hr) → Check in 15:00 → Pool & beers (duty free welcome) → Dinner (Bill Rawlinson picks) → Bangla Road — easy first night, explore, get bearings
10:00–18:00 Andamanda Waterpark → Dinner (Kieran picks) → Illuzion Nightclub on Bangla Road — Saturday is the biggest night. EDM, international DJs, 2,500 capacity. Check out Illuzion — free entry before midnight.
Late start. Pool. → Afternoon: Yona Floating Beach Club (฿2,900pp — DJs, swimming platform, adults only, boat transfer) or Phuket Old Town (free, street food, markets) or Beach & Thai massage → Dinner (Bill Grant picks) → Bangla Road or Patong beach bars
08:00 Pickup → Elephant Sanctuary til ~13:00 (you WILL get muddy — bring clothes to ruin) → Afternoon free: go-karts, pool, Phuket Old Town → Dinner (Jamie picks) → Muay Thai Fight Night at Patong Boxing Stadium. 9pm, 6–8 bouts. We can book via WhatsApp for ฿1,620 ringside (10% off) + free pickup + t-shirt.
09:00–09:30 Pickup → 2-hour ATV jungle trail + viewpoints → Back by ~12:30 → Afternoon: optional jet ski island-hopping tour (~฿4,444pp, Phuket only) or go-karts or pool → Dinner (Stefan picks — Dinner in the Sky ฿3,900pp) → Final Phuket night — Bangla Road send-off
Check out by 12:00 → Quick lunch near villa → MINIVAN DEPARTS 12:00–12:30 SHARP for Rassada Pier (45–60 min) → Board 13:30 ferry (Phi Phi Cruiser, Rassada Pier) → Arrive Phi Phi ~15:30 → Check in → Explore Ton Sai → Dinner (Joe picks) → Loh Dalum Bay beach bars
45–60 min drive to Rassada Pier. If you're not on the minivan, you're finding your own way to Phi Phi. No exceptions. No refunds.
Explore Ton Sai Village. Optional Viewpoint Hike (20–30 min, iconic “I Love Phi Phi” view, ฿30). Then hit Loh Dalum Bay — Slinky (fire shows, mechanical bull) • Ibiza Beach Club (pool parties) • Apache (techno) • Stones (D&B til 2:30am). Cheap drinks, no cover.
THE Beach. Afternoon tour with bioluminescent plankton swim, snorkelling + Pileh Lagoon. Includes kayaking.
฿790 + ฿400 park fee
Captain Bob's — Monkey Beach, Viking Cave, Pileh Lagoon, sunset. 6.5hrs all-inclusive. 5.0★ • 1,203 reviews.
฿2,500pp
Half-day tours from ฿800pp. Private longtail options available. Crystal clear water, stunning reefs.
Beach bars, not clubs. Drinks: Chang beer ~฿50, cocktails ฿100–300, buckets from ฿150. Everything walkable from hotel.
Morning: Lie-in, pool, beach. → 14:15 Afternoon 3-in-1 Tour (฿790 + ฿400 park fee) — Maya Bay, Pileh Lagoon, snorkelling, kayaking, bioluminescent plankton swim. Returns ~19:30. → Dinner (Cam picks) → Loh Dalum beach bars
AM: Settle Tricount. Light brunch. → 12:30 Head to Tonsai Pier area → 13:00–14:00 Pre-game: unlimited drinks at Camp Bar, Loh Dalum → 14:00–~19:00 Captain Bob’s Booze Cruise (Monkey Beach, Viking Cave, Pileh Lagoon, sunset) → ~19:00–20:00 after-party with unlimited drinks → Dinner → Final Phi Phi send-off
Pack up → Check out 11:00 (luggage stored at hotel) → Final swim & lunch → 14:00 Collect bags, walk to Tonsai Pier (~10 min) → 14:30 Ferry to Phuket (~2hrs) → Arrive Rassada Pier ~16:30 → Grab to Phuket Town for dinner → Dinner (Bill Roddick picks) → 20:00 Minivan from Phuket Town to airport (~60 min) → 00:50 Flight departs
Return flight departs 00:50 on 22 March from Phuket Airport. Must leave Phi Phi on the 14:30 ferry on 21 March. Arrive airport by ~17:30–18:00 with 6–7 hour buffer. Miss the ferry = no way to the airport. There are NO evening boats.
13:00 Pre-game: unlimited drinks at Camp Bar, Loh Dalum Beach
14:00 Board — depart Tonsai Pier
14:00–19:00 Monkey Beach → Viking Cave → Pileh Lagoon → snorkelling → sunset cruise
~19:00–20:00 After-party — unlimited drinks resume at shore bar
20:00+ Final Phi Phi send-off
✓ Unlimited drinks (pre/post cruise)
✓ Lunch, snacks, soft drinks on boat
✓ Snorkelling gear & paddleboards
✓ National park fees
✓ Free photos & Bluetooth speaker
฿2,500pp all-in
Unlimited alcohol at shore bars only (pre-cruise Camp Bar + after-party). Soft drinks and snacks on the water. The drinking happens before and after — the cruise itself is the scenery and snorkelling.
5.0★ • 1,203+ reviews • Operating since 2007 • Phi Phi's original booze cruise • ~20 per boat • captainbobscruise.com
| Night | Day | Chooser |
|---|---|---|
| Fri 13 | Arrival | Bill Rawlinson |
| Sat 14 | Waterpark | Kieran |
| Sun 15 | Recovery | Bill Grant |
| Mon 16 | Elephants | Jamie |
| Tue 17 | Quad Biking | Stefan ★ (default: Dinner in the Sky) |
| Wed 18 | Phi Phi Arrival | Joe |
| Thu 19 | Maya Bay | Cam |
| Fri 20 | Booze Cruise | Max (default: Captain Bob's) |
| Sat 21 | Departure | Bill Roddick |
Review the restaurant options on the next slide, or do your own research. Announce your choice by mid-afternoon so people can plan. The chooser is responsible for booking the table.
Famous ribs • ฿550pp
4.9★ — 9,072 reviews
Phuket • MUST VISIT
Best burgers in Patong • ฿450pp
5.0★ — 955 reviews
Phuket • Perfect score
Panoramic sunset views • ฿1,000pp
4.9★ — 1,556 reviews
Kalima Resort, Phuket
Michelin Guide 2026 • ฿2,000pp
4.8★ — 1,897 reviews
Phuket • Book via SevenRooms
British pub classics • ฿350pp
4.6★ — 3,014 reviews
Phuket • Good for transit day
#1 ranked Phi Phi • ฿400pp
4.8★ — 1,918 reviews
Phi Phi • Cash only, no reservations
#1 group dining Phi Phi • ฿450pp
4.8★ — 1,283 reviews
Phi Phi • Tables seat 12
Thai & International • ฿300pp
4.6★ — 3,194 reviews
Phi Phi • Run by Englishman
Great cafe food • ฿350pp
4.8★ — 660 reviews
Phi Phi • Walk-in
All restaurants saved on the Google Maps group — open map. Average beer: Phuket ฿80–150, Phi Phi ฿50–100. Street food ฿50–150.
Pre-booked minivan. ~60 min. ฿700 total (John Welcome Travel). Meet at arrivals.
Depart 12:00–12:30. 45–60 min drive. ฿700 total (John Welcome Travel). Then board 13:30 ferry to Phi Phi.
Outbound: Phi Phi Cruiser, 13:30 from Rassada Pier. ฿450pp.
Return: Phi Phi Cruiser, 14:30 from Tonsai Pier. ฿450pp.
Book via 12go.asia
Phi Phi hotel to Tonsai Pier = ~10 min walk. No vehicles on the island — everything is on foot.
Arrive pier ~16:30. Grab to Phuket Town for dinner. Pre-booked minivan from Phuket Town to airport, depart 20:00. ~60 min to airport. Arrive ~21:00. 3+ hour buffer before 00:50 flight.
Private speedboat charter: ฿14,000–36,000 for the whole boat, 8am–5pm only. There are NO evening options. Do not miss the 14:30 ferry.
Core activities only + budget dining + all transfers
+ Yona Beach Club + go-karts + mid-range dining
+ jet skis + Dinner in the Sky + Michelin restaurants
Excludes: Accommodation (~£706 per payer, booked separately), flights (booked), personal drinks, tips. Add 5–10% FX buffer.
Average beer prices: Phuket bar ฿80–150 (~£2–3.50) • Phi Phi beach bar ฿50–100 (~£1.20–2.40) • 7-Eleven Chang tall ฿45 (~£1)
Cash: Withdraw ฿5,000–10,000 at Phuket Airport ATMs on arrival (fee ~฿220). Use AEON ATMs for lower ฿150 fee.
Download Tricount and join the group (link in WhatsApp). Track as you go. Settle on Friday 20 (day before departure).
• Group rounds
• Group activities, transfers & taxis
• Shared meals
• Your personal drinks
• Individual purchases (massage, shopping)
• Tips beyond service charge (your call)
• Solo spending
• ALWAYS choose Thai Baht at ATMs (NOT GBP — 3–7% ripoff via DCC)
• AEON Bank ATMs = ฿150 fee vs ฿220 elsewhere
• Keep small notes (฿100/฿500) — vendors can't break ฿1,000
• Use Wise or Revolut card for best exchange rates
• Cards accepted at hotels, malls, 7-Eleven (min ฿200). Everything else = cash.
Personal use: Up to 5 years
Trafficking: Life or death penalty
Undercover ops, marked bills, CCTV. The Embassy cannot save you.
Completely illegal in Thailand
Fines: ฿30,000–500,000
(£650–£11,000)
690 arrests Feb–Mar 2025. Leave ALL vapes at home.
Chemical sunscreens banned at all marine parks (inc. Phi Phi)
Fine: ฿100,000 (~£2,300)
Mineral-based zinc/titanium SPF 50 only. Buy in UK.
Lèse-majesté = 3–15 years per offence. Never joke about the King. Stand for the anthem (8am & 6pm). Never step on currency.
AVOID BEACH RENTALS
Return it, they “find” damage, demand ฿10–20K. Police back them up.
Guided tours from reputable operators are fine.
NEVER RUN A TAB
“Lady drinks” (฿200–350) appear magically. Pay after every round. Count your change.
ALWAYS CHOOSE BAHT
“Guaranteed rate” in GBP = 3–7% ripoff. Decline the conversion every time.
Download Grab & Bolt
Tuk-tuks inflate prices 3–5x after midnight. Apps show fair prices upfront. Add your card details before you fly so you're not caught without cash.
Spiking affects men too
Methanol kills. Stick to sealed bottles/cans. Avoid cheap street buckets from dodgy bars.
Every online report says the same: they lure you in with “free entry, just buy drinks ฿100–500” then present a bill for ฿3,000+ and won't let you leave. If anyone's curious: take only ฿500–900 cash, leave cards at the villa, and be prepared for the hustle. Not recommended.
1155
24/7, English-speaking
First call for ANY incident
1669
English staff available
+66 2 305 8333
Bangkok consular emergencies
Top-tier, JCI accredited • Emergency: 1719
25–30 min from Patong • Direct insurer billing
Closer to Patong, JCI accredited
+66 76 249 400 • Hyperbaric chamber
Phi Phi has NO real hospital. Two basic clinics can stabilise only. Evacuation = 45–60 min speedboat to Phuket or Krabi. Travel insurance with medical evacuation cover is mandatory.
Palms together at chest, slight bow
“Sawadee khrap” = hello
“Khop khun khrap” = thank you
Head: Most sacred — never touch anyone's
Feet: Most impure — never point at people or Buddha images
Tao rai khrap? = How much?
Aroy! = Delicious!
Khor bia neung khrap = One beer please
Check bin khrap = The bill please
Mai pen rai = No worries
Chai-yo! = Cheers!
Phet nit noi = Make it a little spicy
Chuay duay! = Help!
Mai ao = Don't want
Khun suay mak = You're very beautiful
Lod dai mai khrap = Can you give a discount?
Paeng pai = Too expensive
Plak gon = Butt plug
Not mandatory. Restaurants: ฿20–50. Massage: ฿50–100 to therapist. Tour guides: ฿100–300pp. Tuk-tuks: nothing (negotiate fare upfront).
Cover shoulders & knees. Remove shoes. Don't touch or climb on Buddha statues. Keep voices low.
• Passport (valid til Sep 2026+)
• Travel insurance docs
• Wise/Revolut card
• Universal plug adapter
• UK extension lead
• Power bank
• Waterproof phone case (IPX8)
• Travel towel
• Swim shorts ×2 minimum (won't dry overnight)
• Lightweight t-shirts & shorts
• Evening clothes for Sizzle/Meg Khram
• Old clothes for elephant day (you'll bin them)
• Flip-flops + trainers
• Sunglasses • Hat/cap
• Reef-safe sunscreen SPF 50 (mineral only)
• DEET insect repellent (30%+)
• Paracetamol (NOT ibuprofen — dengue risk)
• Imodium & hydration sachets
• Tissues/wet wipes
• Condoms
• Nicotine patches/gum (if vaper)
• 10L dry bag (for boats)
• Snorkel mask (or rent there)
• GoPro / action camera
• Portable speaker (Bluetooth)
• Playing cards / travel games
Codeine (co-codamol, Nurofen Plus) = Category 2 narcotic. Requires FDA permit — apply 2+ weeks ahead at permitfortraveler.fda.moph.go.th
Keep ALL meds in original packaging with GP letter.
✓ Hepatitis A — strongly recommended for all (food/water transmission)
✓ Hepatitis B — recommended (blood/body fluid exposure)
✓ Tetanus booster — if not within last 10 years
✓ Typhoid — worth considering if eating adventurous street food
✓ Routine UK vaccines — MMR, diphtheria-tetanus-polio up to date
✗ Malaria tablets — NOT needed for Phuket or Phi Phi
Book travel clinic appointments by late February — 4–6 weeks before departure.
Phuket is high-risk. Mosquitoes bite during daytime (dawn & dusk peak). No specific treatment. NEVER take ibuprofen or aspirin — internal bleeding risk. Paracetamol only. Use DEET repellent religiously.
Affects 30–70% of visitors. Bottled water only (even for brushing teeth). Eat food cooked hot. Carry hand sanitiser (60%+ alcohol). Pack Imodium + ORS sachets.
This slide is the highlight reel. The complete health, safety, cultural, and survival guide can be downloaded from here: the full “Don't Die in Thailand” handbook. It covers: emergency contacts, hospital details, scam breakdowns, drug & vaping law detail, drink safety, beach safety, rip currents, SIM cards, entry requirements, and more. Read it before we fly.
• Grab — Thai Uber, fair taxi prices
• Tricount — expense splitting
• Google Maps — download offline maps
• WhatsApp — you know the drill
Open Google Maps → Search “Phuket” → Tap the bar at the bottom → Download → Confirm area → Download.
Repeat for “Phi Phi Island”.
Works without data. Essential for Phi Phi where signal drops.
All restaurants, venues, piers, and meeting points saved:
STEF STAG DO PLACES →
Open the link, save the list, done.
Complete March 10–12 (within 72hrs of arrival).
tdac.immigration.go.th →
Show QR code at immigration. Each person must complete their own.
You will be refused entry without it.
On arrival: Google Maps → Profile pic → Location sharing → New share → “Until I turn this off” → Share in WhatsApp.
Max + Stefan share permanently. Others share on nights out.
✓ Complete TDAC (Digital Arrival Card) March 10–12
✓ Travel insurance with medical evacuation cover
✓ Emergency numbers programmed in phone
✓ Download Grab, Tricount, offline maps
✓ Join Google Maps group
✓ Passport valid til September 2026+
✓ Reef-safe sunscreen packed
✓ No vapes in your luggage
✓ Vaccines sorted
✓ Read the full health handbook
✓ Prep your restaurant picks